Changing Partners Does Not Change Relationship Dynamics

“An eight-year study of 554 people in Germany showed that eventually, they had the same dynamics in new partnerships as in past broken relationships, after the glow of the honeymoon phase had faded.”

Why?

Because “you are still the same person, so you likely recreate many of the same patterns with the next partner.”

“Seven relationship aspects were reviewed, including satisfaction, frequency of sex, ability to open up to a partner, how often they expressed appreciation for the other person and confidence in whether the relationship would last. All but two aspects were stable across the past and present relationships. The exceptions were frequency of sex and expressing admiration for your partner—both increased in the second relationship, which would be expected.”

People may not be learning from their mistakes by imagining a better relationship with someone else in the future. "Just starting a new partnership doesn't mean things are going to be different. Chances are, you are going to fall into the same patterns in many aspects of the relationship. Even if things are different, they're not guaranteed to be better.”

The study also showed that people who tended to experience a lot of negative emotions fared worse in their second relationships—they tended to have lower relationship and sexual satisfaction, less frequent sex, fewer expressions of admiration and more conflict.

"Who you are matters, and addressing personal issues is going to impact whether you'll be successful in your relationship or not."

The article can be found here.