"Saving Face" in Employment Mediation: The Power of Narratives. Post #5
As we sift through information and data, we create interpretative stories to help us make sense of it all. Whether we know it or not, we create stories all the time. In the employment context, perceptions of discrimination vary based on various forms of identity such as race, gender, etc. For example, more African-Americans are likely to believe they were treated unfairly in hiring, pay or promotion because of their ethnicity, whereas other ethnics groups are less likely to believe so.
Gaining distance and perspective.
Conflict stories can, and often do, recreate the original trauma all over again, making it harder for some people to make good decisions. Mediators can shift the perspective from the first-person to the third-person, similar to William Ury’s suggestion that people “go to the balcony” and overlook the conflict landscape from a detached perspective. One of the ways in which mediators do this is by asking questions such as “How did (insert the name of the participant) get here?” or “What made (name) get so angry?” or Why does (name) feel this way?”
Interpretative narratives.
Most of us do not view facts objectively. Instead, we interpret facts as part of a narrative we construct and reinforce during each interaction with the “other” side, assuring ourselves “They are blameworthy, I am not.” We are reluctant to admit that we contributed to our suffering in some way. Most claimants do not want to admit to themselves that they failed to follow the company’s internal protocols for processing complaints - or if they do, there is a “good” reason for avoiding the protocol. On the employer’s side, most business owners or human resources professionals will not admit that their complaint process may be less than neutral or even disrespectful to employees. Employers are not likely to admit that they do not adequately address employee concerns before they become serious legal claims.
Parties may also feel vulnerable and ashamed for reasons that have nothing to do with the instant case. For example, nothing will dissuade a minority employee from believing that he was terminated by a bigoted boss if the slights and indignities inflicted mirror the same pattern of discrimination he experienced throughout life. The accused boss may believe her intentions were pure, backed by race-neutral statistics, and that she recruited the employee, therefore “I can’t be bigoted!”
On a deeper level, a business owner may harbor feelings of insecurity over the success of her business, intermittently sensing that she does not “deserve” to be successful. Once the reasons for fear and vulnerability are understood, mediators can help people make peace with those contradictory parts of themselves and walk the path between innocence and secret shame toward resolution.
NEXT TIME: The last installment, “Responsive strategies that help parties save face.”